Sexual Harasser: Their patterns
Wednesday, October 31st, 2007The Power-player
In this case harassment is a power game, where the perpetrator insists on sexual favors in exchange for benefits they can dispense because of their position in the hierarchy: getting or keeping a job, favorable grades, recommendations, credentials, projects, raises, promotions, orders, and other types of opportunities. Called "Quid Pro Quo" harassment, it’s the “you do something for me, and I’ll do something for you” mentality, and is very much like blackmail. This form of harassment is an extraordinary abuse of power and trust, and can have serious effects on the victim.
The Mother-father Figure (a.k.a. The Counselor-Helper)
Probably the most calculated of all sexual harassers, the Mother-father Figure will try to create a mentor-like relationship with their sexual harassment target, while masking their sexual intentions with pretenses towards personal, professional, or academic attention. The Mother-father Figure can be particularly drawn to subordinates or students who are troubled, or going through difficult periods in their lives. This perpetrator will gather information about their target’s interests and vulnerabilities, and then tailor their line to the target’s specific needs. The Mother-father Figure may act as a go-between in
relationships that their target is having difficulty with–such as relationships with boyfriends, coworkers, or family members. These are forms of grooming, and in doing this, they can increase their stature with their target and earn their trust.*. With teacher-to-student harassment, the Mother-father Figure will often use techniques of the Intellectual Seducer, (see below) and they will try to learn about their target’s
knowledge and experiences with sex. Moreover, they will usually rationalize their predatory intentions by maintaining that it is a teacher’s duty to "guide the student to maturity," even in terms of their sexuality and sexual experience. *Grooming is a classic tactic of sexual predators as a way of befriending and earning the trust of a target
they are trying to exploit sexually.
One-of-the-gang
Often motivated by bravado or competition, "one-of-the-gang" harassment occurs when groups of men or women embarrass others with lewd comments or physical evaluations. Harassers may act individually in order to "belong" or "impress" the others, or groups may gang up on a particular target. Groups may sexually evaluate or derogate the victim–to their face or behind their back–as a way to "bond." The behavior can range from minor isolated incidents to serial harassing of an individual, and even gang stalking. Competition may come into play as members of the group play on each other’s
egos and bravado. They may compete for the attentions of another, or compete for sexual favors from another. Things may even sink to the level of bets being made on who can succeed in a conquest for a target’s sexual favors. (One-of-the-gang is a very common form of harassment amongst children and teenagers.)
Group initiations and rituals: Group rituals can also involve sexually harassing behaviors and abuses. Traditionally, this has occurred in the realm of male group rituals and initiations, such as those used in fraternities, sports, and the military. However sexually harassing behaviors and activities are increasingly being included in girls and women’s groups, such as sororities and women’s sports. Moreover, the rationale for such behaviors by women’s groups is often that this will make them more acceptable, and seemingly equal to, male groups. While some suggest such activities are just “a
joke”; or in the name of "group bonding," others consider it degrading, insulting and even threatening—especially for many young people who have experienced sexual harassment, sexual abuse, stalking, or rape. Young people who lack confidence, or who are confused about their identity, may fall victim to such practices more easily than those who are self-assured.
The Serial Harasser
The most difficult type of harasser to identify, this person is compulsive and often has serious psychological problems. They carefully build up an image so that people would find it hard to believe they would do anyone any harm. They plan their approach carefully, and strike in private so that it is their word against that of a subordinate or student. They can do a lot of damage before being found out. Their behavior is often a "call for help" rather than a deliberate plan to harass someone or do them harm. In
this case, counseling is probably the best protocol for treating the problem.
The Opportunist
The Opportunist uses physical settings and circumstances, or infrequently occurring opportunities, to mask premeditated or intentional sexual behavior towards a target. This may involve changing the environment in order to minimize inhibitory effects of the workplace or school (e.g private meetings, one-on-one "instruction," field trips, conferences).
The Bully
In this case, sexual harassment is used to punish the victim for some transgression, such as rejection of the harassers interest or advances, or making the harasser feel insecure in their own abilities. Sexually degrading comments or pranks, sending sexually hostile mail or e-mails, leaving hostile telephone messages, giving negative evaluations or low grades, sabotaging projects, denying opportunities or otherwise undermining the victims ability to do their work or advance at work or school–all are examples of ways the perpetrator punishes their target, and puts them "in their proper place." The Bully may convince others to assist them in their "revenge campaign." (See the One-of-the-Gang)
The Bully will also target people for sexual harassment because of perceived weakness, or for seeming to be different. For example, homosexuals are often targeted for sexual harassment because of their orientation and lifestyle choices, as are men who do not embody traditional masculine stereotypes. (Both are often targets of One-of-the-Gang sexual harassment, also.)
The Confidante
This type of harasser approaches the subordinate, or student, as an equal or a friend. They will share about their own life experiences and difficulties, and invite the subordinate to share theirs. The perpetrator may invent stories to win admiration or sympathy. Their target may feel valued and trusted, and will become an involuntary confidante. “Without genuine mutual agreement, the relationship is moved into an intimate domain,” from which the subordinate may find it difficult to extricate themselves.
The Situational Harasser
The type of harassment usually occurs when the perpetrator endures a traumatic event, or begins to experience very stressful life situations, such as psychological or medical problems, marital problems, or divorce. If the situation changes, or the pressures are removed, the harassment often stops - but by then both victim and harasser have been harmed.
The Pest
This is the stereotypical "won’t take ‘no’ for an answer" harasser who persists in hounding a target for attention and dates even after persistent rejections. In most cases, this harasser has no malicious intent and is simply operating on the principles that they will eventually be able to wear their target down, and eventually get a "yes." (see also, the Incompetent below)
The Great Gallant
This mostly verbal harassment involves excessive compliments and personal comments that are out of place or embarrassing to the recipient. While most men and women appreciate recognition and genuine compliments, these comments focus on the appearance and the sex of a worker or student, rather than their abilities or accomplishments. Such comments are sometimes accompanied by leering looks or an attitude of "possessive pride." Although the complimenter may see himself/herself as gallant or gracious, the recipient usually experiences this as patronizing or annoying, or both. The
catcalls of a street harasser is another type of "Great Gallant" harassment.
The Intellectual Seducer (a.k.a. the “mind fucker")
Most often found in a university or classroom setting, this perpetrator will try to use their knowledge and skills as an avenue to gaining access to a student, or information about a student, for sexual purposes. A number of disciplines, such as psychology, women’s studies, sociology, and philosophy, encourage students to disclose information about themselves. The teacher may require students participate in exercises or "studies" that reveal information about their sexual preferences, experiences, and habits.
Teachers can also use class content to encourage a particular student to seek them out. They may try to structure a course in such a way as to gain access to personal information about a student, or may ask around for information about a student, then tailor their course lectures and discussions to the student’s particular passions and interests. (See the Mother-father figure, above.) In this way, the student may feel they have a “special connection” with the teacher that they may want to explore further,
although the teacher’s intentions are to "explore" further than the student ever considered.
The Incompetent
These are socially inept individuals who desire intimacy and the attentions of their target, who does not reciprocate these feelings. The Incompetant often lacks sufficient courting skills, and cannot engage in "subdued, preliminary interpersonal relations." At the same time, they may also display a sense of entitlement: believing their target should feel flattered by their attentions. When rejected, this type of harasser may engage in stalking, or use bullying methods as a form of revenge. (See "The Bully"
above, and The Incompetent Suitor, in Types of Stalkers)
The Groper
The Groper is usually serial in his/her attentions to colleagues, subordinates, or students. Whenever the opportunity presents itself - in the elevator, when working late, at the office or department party - the Groper’s eyes and hands begin to wander. Every birthday, farewell or special occasion is also an opportunity to insist on (usually begrudged) kisses or hugs. The Groper may try to mask inappropriate
touching while ostensibly providing instruction (e.g. "guiding" the target through a movement exercise).
A particularly aggressive Groper may go so far as to act in public; but if not stopped, he/she is likely to try to go further in private. If confronted, they will insist that the recipient likes and enjoys these attentions; or even that the single and divorced people "need it".
The Comedian
The Comedian harasses others because they think it is funny to do so. In their 2006 study, the AAUW found that this was the most common rationale for harassment by boys–59 percent. However, since this behavior is so often meant to impress others, it may fall more appropriately under the category of "One of the Gang." Less than one-fifth (17%) of those boys who admitted to harassing others say they did so because they wanted a date with the person. Other researchers assert that the "I thought it was funny" rationale is a fallacy, and the true reasons align more with that of a need to assert power and
induce fear in others–more in line with the Bully. These hazing behaviors develop in school, continue in high school and college, eventually moving into the workplace.
The Statement-maker (The Sexual Activist)
There is also sexual harassment that is disguised as empowerment, or a political agenda.
Increasingly, women are embracing a traditional male model of sexual aggression as a way of showing their liberation and sexual power; however, this aggression can lead to sexual harassing behavior of both men and other women. The 1990’s video for the song "Shoop" literally glorified sexual harassment by women, moreover, in their recent survey, the AAUW found that over 30% of young women admitted to having sexually harassed another person in school, and increasing numbers of men are filing sexual
harassment charges against female supervisors. Women are also beginning to sexually harass others as a way of making themselves feel more equal to males, or to be viewed by males as equals. Homosexuals may be very sexually aggressive, or in-your-face about their sexuality and sexual exploits. For example, habitually going into extreme, and specific, detail about the man or woman that they "had" the previous evening, constantly hitting on any attractive person of the same sex who crosses their path,
asking other people to discuss their sexuality or sexual experiences, or harassing heterosexuals because they are heterosexuals, or if they will not try homosexuality. Activist Harassers may rationalize such behaviors as attempts at sexual empowerment, or to encourage people to accept diverse lifestyle choices. However, these rationales are completely self-serving, as are most rationales for harassment. Gay or feminist political agendas do not turn sexual harassment into something else. (At
the same time, your average Activist Harasser would not hesitate to label all the same behaviors as oppressive or discriminatory, if done by white male heterosexuals.)
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